Except it's not all smiles quite as often these days. Notice his tense little mouth and outstretched hand...signals that a fit is coming and that I better prepare to duck because he's about ready to try to claw off my face.
He's two. Tantrums come with two. But his fits are so much meaner lately than I've ever seen from him. Clawing. Kicking. Scratching.
It makes me sad because I'm sure a lot of his fits stem from his frustration with communication. Or lack of it. Sometimes I know what he wants. I know that he's throwing a fit because he didn't get his way or someone took his toy or he doesn't like therapy or he doesn't like Matt kissing me or he doesn't approve of a friend greeting me with a hug. But sometimes the fits come out of the blue. Smiles one second. Terror the next. And once the tantrum starts, it's almost impossible to pull him out of it. He gets lost in the frustration and anger and can't find his way back out.
It's gotta be frustrating to have severe limitations in communication.
Chase claps his hands to sign for "more." Or occasionally to signal that he doesn't like something and wants it changed. He does this from time to time when I'm singing to him. Either I get way off key, which would not be surprising, or he just doesn't like that song at the time. Whatever the reason, he wants it changed!
But there are no words. So body language is his only language. And I'm frustrated right along with him that I'm not a very good interpreter sometimes.
I'm praying that this is just a phase. Or that I'll learn to read him better. Or that I'll figure out ways to help him process his frustration without him trying to hurt people. Deep down I'm scared that this will become his personality. That the mean streak will overtake the giggles.
But then I remember that he's two. And I remember my other kids throwing some pretty spectacular fits when they were two! So I pray for patience. And quick reflexes!
3 comments:
Amber, Praying for you. The frustration for both you and Chase is so hard to overcome. It can be consuming.
Have you read the Hiding Place recently? Totally unrelated to parenting, but a recent reread has helped to stay focused on the little victories and on God's big picture. With love, Laura
I don't know if this helps or not but Nate isn't being as pleasant either! I too fear that it's going to be the norm. Where did my sweet little boy go, instead I have this grouchy toddler! I know it's harder with Chase because he doesn't talk! But you are a great MOM hang in there!
Hang in there momma! I've been struggling w/ A's behavior for about a month now. Nothing is good enough, it's his way, or a tantrum. He'll hit (we're a no-hitting-ever-by-anyone house!) me in the face, and phew!!! I keep telling myself he's 2 and this comes w/ the territory, all the while gently redirecting him, telling him he's not allowed to hit me or his sister, carrying him on my hip (he still loves that), bending down to his level, and having 'time-ins' - AND all the while, trying not to loose my mind and temper! Asher is developmentally normal - I cannot even imagine how intense this phase must be for Chase, who has to deal w/ more than 'just being 2'! If you're concerned it has something to do with some of his other concerns, by all means, bring it up w/ the ped. but in the meantime, pray, take a breath, vent to a friend, get a break, and stay calm and gentle - I know it's hard, and all that sounds cliche, but I hope it encourages you nonetheless. Love.
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